Matt

Thank you for making tis a great Josey day.

Chris P.

Drama, drama, drama.  When the school year starts and you have a girl, there is always drama.  This year was no different.  I was searching for an e-mail address on the school's website when I came across a name from the past and knew I had to make contact.

When Sam was very newly diagnosed, we made the decision to move to a different county and district.  When we landed in our new county, I had to pick a new developmental disability case manager.  At that time, DD services would send a fax with a picture and some info of 3 people and let you pick which one you thought was best.  The pictures were nothing but a black blur because that's all that showed up on the fax.  The information was just a resume boiled down to two sentences.  In the end, I pretty much went "eeny, meeny, miny, mo."  Good thing I'm a lucky picker. 

At that point, I knew nothing about how to get what Sam needed and Sam needed A LOT!!!!!  We had not yet hit rock bottom, but our household was definitely on the path to utter despair.  I had no idea what I was doing or how to get Sam what he needed, but Chris did.  One day she called me and said "You need to get..." and named several kinds of documentation which she told me to get to her office ASAP.  I covered the entire east of 71 side of Cincinnati chasing down what she requested and dropped it off at her office.  She told me shortly afterward, "Sam has a waiver."  I said "Fantastic!!!  What is it?"  She told me that it was a special form of medicaid that allowed Sam to receive additional medical benefits based on his disability instead of our income.  I stared at her.  I had no clue what that meant.  She explained that  we could use it for therapies and equipment not covered by insurance.  We had stopped therapies after our insurance company said not only were they not going to pay $3000 in billed services, but they also wanted over $5000 they had already paid back.  I asked her, "Does this mean we can go back for speech therapy?"  When she said yes, I cried. 

Then she had me sign up for every kind of waiting list you can possibly be on when you have autism.  I thought it was silly at the time, but now I understand that he needed to get on those lists at 4 if I had any hope of him accessing those opportunities by adulthood.  Yep, the waiting lists are really that long.  The most important waiting list was for an in home behavioral intervention team with an 18 month  waiting list.

Over the next year, things got worse at home.  Sam became more destructive.  He ran faster, further and more often.  By the next summer,  I could rarely leave the house with Sam.  When I did, the entire trip was dictated by Sam's level of cooperation which fluctuated unpredictably.   He couldn't tolerate even the possiblity of interacting with people.  He had no impulse control.  The week that Sam provided me with the opportunity to learn that our county does in fact, have a helicopter for search and rescue purposes, I asked Chris how much longer we had to wait for the behavior team.  She said I should have told her sooner.  She immediately submitted us as an emergency situation which popped us to the top of the list six months early.  That was a pivotal moment in our autism journey.   

Chris was with us back in the day when Sam was so out of control, I didn't even know if I could safely keep him living in the same house with us.  He was five and I'm not lazy.  It was really just that bad for him and his siblings.  Looking back, I think Chris suspected that was a distinct possibility.  If it weren't for Chris, I would never have been able to turn that around.  I would never have met all those amazing people I told you about during my autism awareness string in April.  I would never have helped Sam learn to communicate.  I would never have discovered that I wanted to help other children communicate.  If it weren't for Chris, I wouldn't have this picture that I took tonight of my high school boy at his first home football game as if he had never been anything but a sweet young man who enjoys Friday night lights....just like any other teenager.

Chris, thank you so much for teaching me how to advocate for my son.  It was truly the most important gift any person could ever give me.  

Josey

My daughter is just the best.  She has really stepped up now that mi back at work.  She even made my lunch for tomorrow.

Thank you Josey.

Lisa

A lot of planning went into getting Sam ready to start high school.  Maybe I should have put a little more time into Max's preparation.

Today, when Max saw Sam get on the bus to go home. He followed him onto the bus.  This would have been a tremendous plan if Sam had actually been going to our home.  Sam, however, was going to after school teenage supervisory time.  (I know.  It's kind of a mouthful.  But he's to old to call it babysitting or childcare.).   When the bus made a right instead of a left, he knew he had a problem.  The bus driver was apparently not really jovial about it.  Lisa ended up having to talk to the transportation department, the mean driver and bring Max home.

Lisa, thanks for helping with both my boys!

Mom...late

Ok, I am back at school.  In my first week, I went through 3 sitters.  One was hospitalized (not Sam's fault), the second was hired by a real employer and required to start training midweek!  Then there was the night before school starts meetings and materials.  In all the craziness.....I forgot to post.  And you know when my life gets crazy, mom is right there to help.

Thanks for helping me keep it together the last 2 days mom.  My kids are as amazing as they are because I had a good role model to follow.

Emily @ Sammy's

Today, two of three children went back to school.  We usually have McDonald's on Tuesdays.  It's a throwback to the days when our house revolved around therapies and I was almost never home for dinner.  Today, we kicked it up a notch to Sammy's, a local favorite.  Emily was our waitress.  The staff is always pleasant, bu Emily was especially good.  First, she totally talked to Sam directly instead of going through me.  His communication device didnt throw her a bit.  She kept the pop coming...always important to us, and checked the condiment content upon request.

Thanks for all around awesome service Emily!

Max

Today Max mowed the grass, cleaned the bathrooms, hung clothes, put away dishes and helped with Sam.

Thank you Max for all you did today.

Brett @ the Apple Store

Josey got a very nice birthday gift, it required a trip to the Apple stor for assistance in set up.  We tried at home, and she ended up with all of my emails.  Not good.  We couldn't figure out how to get my information back out.  Brett was able to do that for us and get Josey up and running with iMessage and FaceTime so she can keep contact with Aunt Teresa when she moves to France.

Gina @ LaRosa's

I love when I go to a restaurant and the staff are patient with Sam without treating him like he is a baby.  Wonderful service for pizza night.  Celebrating my first paycheck at my new job (earlier than expected) and the start of a new school year for me.

Thank you Gina for making it a pleasant dinner for all.

Dad

Thanks.  'Nough said.

Alyssa

My original sitter was sick this week.  Luckily, Alyssa stepped up and in to hang with Sam when I went back to work this week.  Good feeling to know he is so well cared for while I'm gone.  And she is so awesome that she remembers to write childcare in the memo line when I forget.

Thanks Alyssa.

Carrie

Tonight, randomly, I was tagged in a Facebook post that said :
"I worry about society! Then I know there are real and lasting parents out there and I take a breath!"  And my name was on the list for awesome momness! (Not speech pathologistness because it's too late at night to worry about grammar or spelling.). It was a lovely surprise and made my day!!!

Thanks for the kind words Carrie!

Mom...and I'm not being lame

Today, I got up on time.  I was mostly ready for work at my new job which is kind of stressful.  Start up in schools is always stressful and a new place intensifies that.  Twenty minutes before I am supposed to leave...I get a call from my sitter.  She is throwing up and can't make it.  (She contacted me later to say she was being admitted to the hospital and having surgery tomorrow.) 

My mom, bless her heart, threw on her clothes at 6:40 and headed over.  Middle school/high school open house was tonight.  That means my mom couldn't leave until I got home at 8pm.  Long day for everyone.

Thank you mom for jumping in when I needed you. 

Other Matt

Still tired.  This is my brother in law.  He lent me a tiller.

Thanks Matt.

Matt

It's midnight and I am exhausted.  Picture will be posted later.

Matt, thank you for the awesome retaining wall.  My backyard is well on it's way to completely amazing.

Mom (again)

I have the most selfless, giving mother in the entire world.  Her kindness knows no bounds.  Without her unwavering love and support, I would be nothing.  From the bottom of my heart I am filled with gratitude that you would once again sacrifice your time by treating my laundry stains.

(This had nothing to do with me getting an email from her demanding something "more flowery and wonderful."  Nope....not at all.)

Teri

Today was the first day of my new job.  I was told that I will be given a work laptop, a copy code with no limit on copies, and I can use the laminator when I need it.  The building has a library and in the library are actual books.  My office has a window and actual therapy materials.  Makes me very glad that I decided to apply.  Makes me thankful that people supported me.

Teri, in case I didn't say it before, thanks for the letter of reference.

Mom

The weather was so cool and mild today, I opened the windows.  Realized I forgot to turn off the air conditioning before it got warm, but AFTER I left the house.  My WONDERFULLY KIND AND HELPFUL (but understandably a little cranky) mother came to my house to take care of it.

Thanks, Mom!

Teresa

My brother moved to France almost a year ago.  It is now time for his wife to follow.  Teresa was saying her Cincinnati goodbyes today and made time to take Josey, Sam, and I for ice cream before they left.

Teresa, thanks for including us in your goodbye tour.  Watch out for those pre-schoolers.  They are MANIACS!!!!!

Jeff

Okay.  Channel your best Jan voice and say, "Kelly, Kelly, Kelly!"

Jeff is the husband of the afore mentioned (in several posts since I started this project) Kelly.  Many times she is available to assist us through the magic of Jeff.  Tonight's thank you is all about Jeff.

First of all, last year, when there was a not great situation with my house, he jumped in to help me.  Second he told Max the joke, "Why is it, on the way to,the bathroom you're American, but once you're in there, European?"  (Come on...admit it.  You laughed too.). Jeff will now always be known as "the one who told me peeing joke."  Neither of those have anything to do with tonight's thank you. It was just fluff and background.

Jeff, thank your for lending me your calk gun.  I am adding it to my Christmas list (Sam is already making his) but it was good of you to loan me one in the mean time.

Lisa & Brian

Tonight, the kids and I were invited to a friend's house for dinner.  It's been a long time since we socialized like that and it was just lovely.

Thank you for a wonderful evening.

Mel

When Max was younger, he attended a charter school for a period of time.  He had the most amazing teacher I absolutely loved.  He loved her too.  One year, he came home after the first day and said that Miss F. (Mel) had left.  I was very sad....until I saw that the elementary my other two attended ad the good sense to snatch her up.   I was secretly hoping that Sam would end up in her class because I thought some of the other teachers were just plain mean.  One day, she stopped me in the hall and said she had requested Sam be placed in her class.

In case you are wondering....regular classroom teachers don't typically say, "PLEASE!!!!  Give ME the kid with severe autism."

She was every bit as wonderful with Sam as she was with Max.  I was thrilled when Josey got her too.  Not just because she is so awesome, but also because it gave us the honor of being her first complete family.  That automatically gets you a special place in a teacher's memory.  Even though several years have passed, Mel and I have stayed in touch.  Earlier this year she was on NPR telling a very personal story about her childhood.  It touched me in particular because I like to think that one day my daughter might grow up to be just like Mel.  Which leads me to the thank you part.....

Today I was out with my children when a business owner criticized me as a mother and told my daughter she and her siblings are destined to be screw ups.  Want to know more? Believe me...I would love to tell you and start a campaign to shut him down.   But the purpose of this project is supposed to be to focus on the good.  You and I Dear Reader, will not allow somebody so inconsequential to rob us of that goal.  Will we?

Anyway, I did share it with Mel.  Her response:  "Divorce happens and great parenting continues to happen in spite of it."  That was exactly what I needed to hear from exactly the person who can say it with authority.  Thanks Mel.  When Josey grows up, I hope she's like you and I have been as good a mom to her as yours obviously was to you.

Josey

In spite of the occasional....ok frequent...eye roll.  Josey is a very sweet helpful girl.  Especially for a teenager.

Josey, thank you for making Sam's popcorn without being asked.

Max

It can be hard to have a brother with autism.  Especially when you are the only male in the house and have to be the bathroom escort.  Max has been really great about stepping up in recent months in helping with Sam and household chores in general.  Lucky my first baby boy is turning into such a wonderful young man.

Thank you for your help the last two days Max.

Rose

When Sam was little, I had one of those baby books you are supposed to use to record all those milestones the first year three years.  The thing is, when your child has an atypical developmental pattern, that book is nothing but a big fat reminder that you have failed.  One day, teary eyed, I sat looking at that book and my beautiful blue eyed boy when I thought "screw it!" And chucked it in the garbage.  Glad I did because letting go of that allowed me to celebrate Sam's achievements.  They may take longer, but that is what makes achieving them so much more significant.

Today was a big day.  I took all three of my kids to a Reds game.  No meltdowns.  We may have spent the equivalent of a college education on junk food, but it resulted in lots of smiles and laughter. So who cares?

I was a little worried when Sam pointed to the aisle and said "Home?" at the bottom of the 1st inning.  When Sam has a giant bag of popcorn and a large coke and still wants to leave, it does not bode well for a good outing.    However, I started to explain what was going on down on the field and he looked down like, "Oh!  Now I get it" and was fine for the remaining 2 and a 1/2 hours.  Josey said that Sam even started getting excited and cheering when Bruce was announced and came out on the field.  He clapped and cheered.  Can you believe it?  He cheered!  That is way more amazing than walking at 12 months would have been.  So bite me stupid baby book.

How does Rose fit into this?  She was Sam's teacher in 7th and 8th grade.  She took the class to an abbreviated Reds game this spring.  Had she not done that, I would not have been brave enough to attempt an entire game today.

     

Rose, thanks for piquing Sam's interest in professional baseball.  We will be going to more games in the future for sure.

Kelly

Kelly, thank you for accommodating me and Matt's plans by being rubber band flexible this weekend .

Debbie Lawn & Garden @ Lowe's

Before (pretend the dumpster isn't there)

And after (the paint in front of the door was spilled by somebody else.)  Well, not the total after, because I have a planter to add to the fence and the driveway is going to get a black top job before Winter.  But the cute little hanging lights were the suggestion of Debbie at Lowe's.  She was instrumental in tracking down the 2nd one when her location did not have the 2 I needed.  Debbie totally gets that just because it's a garage doesn't mean it can't be cute!

Debbie, thanks for suggesting the lights and finding two for me.  Definite improvement!

John & Fred Blue Ash Tool Rental

Still working on the yard.  Today was the day we had to put in all the drain pipes.  That meant we needed someplace to put them.  Matt was going to dig it by hand.  When I pointed out that he was not John Henry, he agreed we needed to rent a ditch witch.  John and Fred were very helpful in making sure we got the equipment we needed.  Blue Ash tool rental is now my go to place for tools.

Thanks John and Fred.

Tyler @ The Cheesecake Factory

Matt and I worked all day moving gravel and building the retaining wall in the backyard.  Then we had to pick Max up from work at an awkward time (10pm) which left us with few dinner choices.  Turns out the Cheesecake Factory is open until 12:30am.  Good to know since we always seem to be ready for dinner at 10:30pm.  Tyler was our waiter.

I don't eat meat.  Not a burger, not even something cooked in a broth.  Matt wanted stuffed mushrooms to share.  H is so supportive of my choicevthatvhe automatically goes through the list of ways they might sneak meat into a dish.  He asked Tyler to double check ingredients.  Tyler was nice enough to do it.  Sometimes, I know a waiter/waitress just lies.

Tyler, thank you for double checking the ingredients in the stuffed mushrooms.

Arianna Things Remembered

Max's birthday was the other day and I wanted to give him something sentimental.  I had a pocket watch engraved.  The first time, the monogram went in a direction that was different than what I intended when I ordered it.  Next, the watch didn't work.  Arianna has been very helpful in making things right all along the way.  Sometimes things don't go as planned.  That is just a theme in my life. It is nice when somebody cheerfully steps up to make it right.

Thank you for your help and the great customer service Arianna.

Comfort Suites Troy

This week was the big trip to Troy so Max could take a mini class at the Hobart Institute.  We had to stay in Troy during the 4 day class.  The service was exceptional.  Every person at the desk was exceptionally polite and helpful.  One evening, I went down to the lobby to buy a diet coke because we ran out in the room.  The "pantry" didn't have any for sale.  I asked at the desk and the girl gave me 2 cans.  I asked how much and she said, "Don't worry about it.  They were left over from the manager's reception which just ended.  Enjoy."  They guy who checked us in Sunday night was that nice and so was every other person there.  Housekeeping, management....everybody.  If you ever need to stay in Troy, I highly recommend it.

Thank you for 4 days of wonderful service Comfort Suites Troy Ohio.