My Mom

Two pages, huh?  Well....Ok!  This is the mother of all thank yous for the mother of someone full of thankfulness.

I'm going to share a few of my favorite mom and Sam stories, because it is still autism awareness month.  Sam has really done his part to make people aware of autism and I think that needs to be acknowledged.  I also think tonight is a good time to share "Sam's Adventures with Grandma."

Josey was going off to her first year of pre-school the same year Sam was starting kindergarten.  In preparation of a bright new school year (that actually turned out to be a disaster) we went on a great big Mall kind of back to school shopping spree.  Who doesn't love new pencils and new shoes to start their new school year?  I'll tell you who...a five year old with severe autism.  Sam made his displeasure clear by throwing a bit of a hissy fit.  My mom didn't want the other two kids to miss out, so she said "You go on, I'll take care of Sam."  So off mom and Sam marched down toward the food court and Max, Josey and I dove into school clothes heaven.  Also known as the GAP.  It was so crowded, it took a little longer than I expected.  As soon as we stepped out of the store, I could hear Sam....who was ten stores away and in rare form.

My mom can do the mom glare like nobody's business.  She is the Chuck Norris of the mom look.  When I reached her, she had the look.  My first response was to revert to that five year old explanation voice that is two octaves higher and 30 words per second faster than my normal voice.  My mom cut my apology off and said, "It's ok.  You stay here, I need to go have a talk with somebody."  Relief washed over me, just as it did when I was little when I realized I was not going to be the recipient of her wrath.  And just as I delighted in watching my siblings get it when I was little, I sat back and watched the show.

My mom marched into Things Remembered.  I was too far away to hear a word, but the expression on the managers face made it clear that even she could see, my mom was about to verbally take her out.  My mom is most fierce when she is not yelling.  Let me tell you friend....SHE....WAS....FIERCE.  The woman behind the counter was about 5'7" and 200 pounds.  I watched her shrivel to 4 feet 98 pounds as my mom dressed her down in an even tempered voice so cold, the cash register was dripping with ice.  At one point, the woman fruitlessly tried to defend herself, my mom made a cutting gesture in the air with her hand to make it clear, she was having none of it.  The woman shut her mouth immediately.  Mom got the last word.  I'm sure that woman will never call security to complain about a child with autism, or any other child for that matter, ever...EVER, again!

Anybody who has seen my wrath when I'm protecting my babies....I came by it honest.

My next favorite story took place when Sam was getting his service dog.  I actually have two.  In the first story, we had rented a 2 bedroom suite.  Mom had one room, Sam and I the other.  There was a living room between the two.  I had popped down to the office to get a snack for us.  When mom went into the bedroom to check on Sam, he was gone.  Panicked, my mom raced to her room.  She was just about to call for help when she realized that Sam was in the living room sitting on John Boy.  Relief turned to back to panic when she realized that John Boy was not moving.  She was sure Sam had killed his service dog in the first 3 days.  Then a dog barked on TV and John Boy flopped his tail in that way he does without ever moving another muscle of his body.  My mom said "Hallelujah, it's the resurrection again!"  Then she asked if they had Manhatten's down at the office.

In the second story, we went to Max and Erma's for dinner one night.  The waitress was trying to be helpful and brought Sam's meal ASAP.  The problem was that as soon as Sam was finished, he was ready to go.  Our food hadn't arrived yet.  Sam figured that was our problem and threw a fit (are you seeing a theme here?)  Well, the people at the table behind us were not very nice about the entire thing.  Which, I can understand to a certain degree.  But I did give up my dinner and take Sam out when quieting and bribing didn't work.  That couple was very mean about the entire thing.  They kept commenting and looking, saying things like, "Can you believe that someone would bring a child like that in here?  Does she think we want to listen to that?  What is she thinking?" I took Sam out (surprise, surprise, I was in tears) but told the rest of my party to stay.  My mom was none to pleased with the continued commentary from the peanut gallery upon our departure.  So when they got up to get their ice cream, my mom actually said, "Look at that lady?  Can you believe she would be that fat and still get up for ice cream?  And that man!!!  Why he has no legs!!!  Doesn't he know people don't want to see that?"  I love my mom.

When I told my mom that my husband had moved out and we were divorcing, she said to me, "Why does Kenny Rogers You Picked a Fine Time to Leave me Lucille keep running through my head?"  My mom has a wicked sense of humor.

When some people get divorced, they lay in bed crying for months.  Some rage and break things.  Me?  I took the kids and my mom to Disney.  Grandma and Sam have quite the adventures in hotels.  They stayed behind one night so Josey and Max could have an opportunity to shop for souvenirs.  When I got back, mom asked me to check on Sam.  When I did, I noticed he had horrible purple dotted marks all over his face.  Mom was concerned.  Being the rational individual I am, I freaked out because I was sure that he had acquired a flesh eating virus in the 2 hours I had left them alone.  The next day the marks were worse..but they also made it clear what had happened.  Sam had picked up one of the glass tumblers and sucked in through his mouth to create a vacuum that held it to his face.  Basically, he gave himself a giant face hickey.  It lasted for days.  Mom found that hysterically funny too.

Why am I rambling on with random Grandma and Sam stories?  Because tonight was another one of those nights.

A few years ago, one of my oldest and dearest friends was bitten by a brown recluse spider.  It went undetected for some time and wreaked havoc on her health.  She was hospitalized several times, lost kidney function at one point and all kinds of other really awful, yucky things.  So tonight, when I noticed a red, puss filled mark on Sam's arm with an indent like a hole in the middle, of course I thought the worst.  I called mom for a second opinion and she came over because that is the kind of mom she is.  We decided it was just a pimple, but a pimple that had to go.  Mom decided to "express" it....and when that sucker blew...it shot out and landed right on Grandma.  Who immediately said, "Carol Ann, I better get a two page thank you for this one!"  Mom, I could write 200 pages and it would never be enough!

I have said it before and I will say it many, many times again....thank you mom!