Sam

In case you didn't know, today is Spread the Word to End the Word day www.r-word.org.  We are also closing in on Autism awareness month.  Which I do not celebrate by "turning it blue."  One year I did post one good thing about autism every day for the entire month of April.  That may sound odd to you.  That I could find 30 good things to say about my son having autism.  The truth is, I ran out of month before I ran out of things to say.  When I was writing the last post about how many more things I had to say, I thought about the day Sam was diagnosed.  It was awful.  Really.  Two things stick out from that time period.  One was the MRI.  I remember sitting in the room while Sam was in the machine which was so loud.  I thought to myself, "I should pray, or wish, or something."  But when I thought about it, I knew if I hoped they found something, it would mean Sam had a tumor or brain damage.  If I hoped they found nothing, it likely meant autism.  I remember thinking, "So THIS is what it means to be hopeless." I spent the next thirty minutes trying to empty my mind and focus on the loud whirring and periodic clicks of the medical equipment.

When Dr. Valentin finally sat us down (yes, there was still an us back then, physically and legally) I thought there was nothing worse than being told "Your child has autism."  I was right.  That was the worst part.  It's been a wild ride.  At times it's been hair raising and all I can do is close my eyes and hang on tight.  Others, it's like the cork screw hill on a roller coaster.  All I can do is throw up my hands and enjoy it.  When Sam comes into the room, looks me in the eye, giggles and throws his arms around me to give a hug, it's a roller coaster cork screw kind of day.

Sam, thanks for teaching me the value of life and happiness.  Most of all, thank you for giving some of the best hugs ever.  (For the record, he did read the thank you note I wrote.)